Sexual Abusers – Their Side Of The Story?
Having read a number of posts recently on issues of sexual abuse, I have been wondering what exactly goes on and wrong in the minds of these abusers, where does the nut get loose.
We have read and heard a lot from the sexually abused who have found healing and strength to speak out on these issues, when will the abusers be repentant enough to share their own side of the story?
The surprising thing about it is that most times the culprits are not the roaring lions on the streets looking for whom to devour, they are often the gentle lambs within our courts - our friends, our brothers, our fathers, our uncles and even our husbands!
Normal people with a good life and atimes a happy family – the most unsuspected!
From the father who rapes his daughter, to the son who rapes his mother and all the many in between the two.
What goes on within?
I guess one of the answers has come in a latest discovery about a male friend. As nice and charming as he could be, I would never trust him with my daughter!
I usually feel so uncomfortable with his lustful stare and could see his arousal at almost every sight of a woman’s flesh!
I wasn’t so surprised when I discovered he is addicted to pornography!
Is it possible to constantly view such scenes and still be free of unusual sexual fantasies and imaginations towards women, especially the most vulnerable?
Could this be one of the reasons why some men’s vision would be blurred like the Lion called Alex in the DreamWorks SKG produced cartoon, Madagascar, who at the smell of the jungle started seeing his best friends as prey.
The strongest mark of restraints can unquestionably give way at a regular fuelling of pornography; it erodes sexual discipline and fills the mind with unusual cravings that no morals or any sense of reasoning and friendship would hold back.
The abuser does not obviously see a friend, a niece, a daughter …, all he sees is a sport made for pleasure – a prey.
I know this could be a whole lot more complex than I think, but statistics have shown that pornography is the most common characteristics amongst sexual abusers.
I have heard so much argument for pornography, some think it enhances sexual relationship between partners, but aren’t there healthier ways of knowing how to do the ‘whats’, and at what cost are we ready to learn from it.
At the cost of having insatiable and uncontrollable sexual urge, and running after everything in skirt which could be your best friend’s daughter.
With access to internet the strangest of pornographic materials is just a click away, how then do we protect ourselves, and the generation next from being sexually abused and being sexual abusers?
Note this is not to say that being sexually abuse is only peculiar to women, men go through same too.
Read the gory confession of a hard core pornography addict here
www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000082.cfm
17 comments:
You take an interesting perspective on this issue, the addiction to pornography as causative in sexual abuse.
However, this is where that material is available and accessible, many of us who were abused years ago were affected in an age where that material was hardly available, then in Nigeria in the 70s.
One would wonder what story they would have to tell.
Then, there is that presumption that sexual abuse is mainly that of males abusing females, well, in my case, it was of a female abusing me when I was 7.
In the end, there just cannot be any excuse for committing dastardly and abominable acts on children, or exercising sexual duress on unwilling adults.
They can have their stories as fantasies but the realising those fantasies must be visited with the most strident penalties and exposure.
...well,
nothing can justify a wrong.
So, weather 'tis porno or not
sexual abuse is wrong & 'tis
still wrong.
But, let's see...
If 'tis porno that causes it,
it might be good.
How?
We get porno out of circulation.
"in a free world?"
Much more than that,
i think it goes back
to morals, family values...
It's high time we stood up
for what's right (& identify
with such) and stop seeing it
as right cause many do it.
An interesting subject, from
yet another angle. Bravo.
@ akin and rethots
i obviously wasnt portraying exposure to pornography as a justification for sexual abuse, i dont think there is any excuse whatsoever for such dastardly act.
like i clearly stated, the issue of sexual abuse is a lot more complex than i wrote, the post is just an examination of one identified factor that has been found to be common to many sexual abusers.
i also noted at the end of the post that sexual abuse is not peculiar to women , men also go through same from women or other men.
well one, pornography is wrong, violence is wrong and sexual abuse is WRONG !!!
Eeerr, my take is that pornography plays a big role in shaping the minds of sexual predators / rapists etc.... so also does violence coupled with the former.
This intrigue will lead someone who does not know any better or self-control to act on such thoughts etc ....
The media should be careful because as little as it may seem, the media shapes the minds of children and many people out there who love to sit in front of the black box or read literature.
It all depends on ones level of maturity and control.
I watch pornography a lot but the gentlest of my kind, u digg?
Do ahve a fab.day
hey shola. its good reading you again. and i didn't get to tell you that it was great seeing you at Angela's birthday party.
this us wonderful stuff-usually i read about individuals who just insult and verbally abuse these flawwed beings that live amonst us(and rightly so might i add) but it 'nice' to actually try and address the complexities of the pervs psychie. This is awesome stuff
This post is soooooo TRUE, I feel like giving u a pretty good pat on ur back for putting it in such an excellent way...
sexual abuse is one thing ..pornography is anoethr.perrsonally i dont like porn......but i dont think i guy liking porn would make him abuse somebody!A sexual abuser is a sick human beign with or without porn would find a prey to evour..may God help us.........good post women connect
Good post women connect,
Did i hear someone say the media should be careful? The world is moving so fast and so is the heavy influence of the media. It is our responsibility to expose our children CONSCIOUSLY to things that will develop their morals and keep their heads up in this hay wire, fast paced world.
Sexual abusers/rapists? I'm convinced that someone who would descend so low must be mentally sick, amongst other things.
Pornography? To what end? Why would one indulge in it when it will never satisfy? It's like punishment.... i think!
Been a while. When's the next update?
Greetings!
This is only to reserve a seat here and I will be back to comment properly after reading the above excellent post.
Ill be back. However, just in case I am taking too long, please give me a shout.
See you shortly.
Porn's greatest crime is sripping the art of lovemaking and reducing it to mainly an act of physical satisfaction, usually to the gratification of the man. There are new genres arising from the request to see women attaining physical satisfaction but still it is an industry generated out of the desires of men. The key word being desires.
To satisfy desires men will go to any lengths. This applies not only to their physical ones but material as well as emotional.
I do not blame porn for the growth in sexual offenders but rather the lack of accountability offered by our justice system for these offenders. i have heard theives lynched and shot. I am yet to hear what the repercussions are for a sexual offender. Porn is about accessibility. Many couples use porn as instruction manuals as there are many genres in porn. U have to be slightly twiste to derive pleasure in the torture and the victimisation of others. That is when you have perverted the act of sex.
If there is no physical struggle, it is assumed that the victim invited the attack. How a little child who weighs between 40 and 60 pounds is to fight off a 200-300 pound male is soemthing I will like to be made aware off.
Another issue is the dispensability of women. If we were regarded with any respect and reverence, we would have laws protecting our interest and that of our offspring.
Sex offenders are sick and perveted. They know that in Nigeria they will get away with it. Many have done it before and so why would their lot be different?
BTW, ted Bundy was a psychopath. He has told many different stories about why he did what he did with the intention to generate sympathy and be able to get supporters to lobby against the death penalty. For most of his time in prison, he denied his crimes; then he switched to guilty and proferred the information of the identities and locations of his unknown victims in return for more months alive. He was sick and even if pornography played a role, it was minute and in addition to othr factors playing house in his twisted mind.
What really goes on in the mind of these abusers?
UPDATE !!!
BLOGVILLE IDOL
Hey guys as you know the BLOGVILE IDOL CONTEST Would be kicking off on 11th JUNE 2007...Please help us make it a succes by participating..We already have our contestants(fellow bloggers)who would be singing in the voice comment player on the blogville idol page.We need you to listen to them and vote..Pls check our page (the Condition on entry) and see what is required for u voters to do and your voting dates,the voting poll would be up soon..Pls help us turn this to a success...and pls visit the page frequently...Tanx for ur support as we try to spice things up in blogville
Good morning.
I have just added your blog to a collection of all Nigerian blogs which I am currently building and which can be found here: The Nigerian Super Blog . On the site you will be able to read posts from 197 Nigerian blogs ALL from one place (this number will increase as we continue to add new blog feeds).
The preview version of The Nigerian Super Blog was launched on the 1st of July 2007 and the site is still very much in active development (thus you might experience a bug here and there). We'd be happy if you can find time to check it out (I promise you are going to love it because you will be able to read all your favorite blogs and more from one place!). Plus it will help much more people to find and enjoy your blog.
We'd also appreciate any kind of feedback, (blogs @ naijalive . net) and possibly a post about us. and if you really like the site, please tell people about it and add a link to us in your blog.
Other ways you may support this FREE project is by helping us with links or pointers to Nigerian blogs so that we can add them if they are not already there.
Thanks a lot and keep up the good work!
Post a Comment