My Mother's Friend

Her death is still like a dream to me; it is so hard to believe she will never buy same clothes with my mother again, will never be a sure face and helping hand at every event in our house and no longer be here to chastise our short skirts and insists our boyfriends should be from her state.

We grew up knowing her as a vital part of our family; a day wouldn’t be complete if my mother hadn’t seen her.

She was tall, beautiful, graceful, and blessed with an ageless skin. With her very calm and composed demeanor, I had always felt she was endowed with so many attributes that should have made her a high flyer in life.

I remembered overhearing her telling my mother of how men still swarm around her and find it hard to believe she has seven children!

The news of her death keep echoing the same things in the minds of all, it reminds us of how fragile and far-reaching our choices are and that life does not always give us the chance to heal our regrets and make corrections. It’s really so pathetic.

She got married when she was a teenager despite all objections; she was enticed by a polygamist old enough to be her father. She had her first child at age 16; the next 12 years saw her having six more in quick succession.

As one of her husband’s favorites, she was pampered. She had the best of things and had people at her beck and call. Despite advice from her friends to take advantage of these and start up a business or take up job, she didn’t think it was as necessary as they made it seem.

The late nineties however came with a dwindle in her husband’s businesses, accompanied with a diagnosis of a terminal illness.
The other wives were not in for any pity party, they went on to face their lives and to take care of their children, but my mother’s friend stood by him.

Then stepped in her friends with their advice again, now that her husband was ill and she wasn’t sure his business will recover soon, they suggested she start a business, as it was already late to pick up a paid employment.

Giving one excuse or the other she refused, till her husband died few years ago.

Being the closest to the man in his latter days, everyone had thought the will was going to favor her and her children but the best of the man’s riches had been given to one of the wives and her children – the man had written the will years ago to favor his favorite wife at that time, who was not one of the closest to him at the time of his death!

The remaining of his property was to be shared among the other wives and their children, but he had already sold many of them before he died, so they were left with virtually nothing to claim.

My mother’s friend was devastated, she had no money, no source of income and even her apartment had been given to one of her step sons. It was terrible!

She ran here and there looking for help, stuck with seven children, that she had not had so much time to give the best of training, and consequently some have been slow paced compared to their age mates.

She started struggling hard to make ends meet, her children were scattered all over friends and relatives houses, while she relocated to another state to stay with a friend.

Then her childhood friend came from England last year and promised to help her, some weeks later my mother’s friend was on her way to London, everyone was happy, at last a form of breakthrough has come, perhaps she will be able to work and raise money to take care of her children.

Then we started having SOS calls from her, apparently her childhood friend took her to England to be involved in some shady deals, on her refusal she was sent out of the house with her passport seized and no where to go.

She was taken in by a Nigerian community and had hoped to recover from her friend’s betrayal and settle down to a new live, then; she was diagnosed of breast cancer.

She couldn’t afford the medical bills neither could her hosts, so they decided to bring her back to Nigeria to her family. It all happened so fast, by the time she got to Nigeria she was unconscious and at age 45 she never opened her eyes again.

She was buried today.