My Milestones My Joy

by Opeyemi Fadipe

I do not believe in reincarnation like some do but if reincarnation happens to be a reality then my cycle will be woman, woman, and woman all the way. For so many women the popular belief is that it is a man’s world. I hear such women say that given the chance to relive they will rather come as men. I do not blame them as these women have several reasons behind their opinion. But then I find it ridiculous to believe. Why on earth will a woman want to be a man? I still have not found a single reasonable reason to think that way.
Personally I have no regrets being a woman.
Womanhood is a covered calabash which when opened emits radiance, joy, happiness, fun, laughter and a lot of hope.
For a lot of women, womanhood would have been so beautiful had the natural occurrences been absent. I once heard my younger sister say, ‘how I wish I do not menstruate’ forgetting that it is a sign that someday life will germinate in that same stomach.
Contrary to popular feminine opinion, I believe women will appreciate their lives, milestones and enjoy womanhood much better when we begin to savor the honey at the core of our seemingly painful milestones. We need to relish the joys, pleasures that lie deep in our challenges. Of a truth, our challenges far outweigh those of our mothers and grandmothers but God has so endowed us with joys that do not fade as the years go. The joys and happiness that lie deep within our challenges are not ephemeral. They are such that we remember so many years afterwards and we still smile heartily.
Can you remember the day as a baby your ear was pierced? Possibly not but I believe if babies could talk you would have told the next baby boy to you how lucky he was not to be a girl. But here you are today adorning yourself with lots of beautiful jewelry in that same hole that was created painfully. That imaginary baby boy friend of yours could today probably be among those guys who want to put on earrings to look trendy.
I am quite sure you have not forgotten those days when your nanny or hairdresser would force your head into her laps to plait your hair. Most of us never liked those women but we turn our heads several times to see whose looking at our hairstyles.
Sometimes at the age of twelve, I discovered I had some pains on two particular spots in my chest. It was so painful that I did not hesitate to tell my mum it must be cancer. You can imagine how she laughed and like most Yoruba women told me those two thins will eventually send me out of my father’s house. Today it’s a reality; I am out of my father’s house living happily with my own man. Those two growths accentuated my figure so much that the opposite sex could not resist me. It contributed to my beautiful body framework.
Early one morning I woke up restless, feeling different, vomiting and running high temperature. I felt I was not myself anymore. It became so uncomfortable and I found myself in front of a doctor’s desk, only to be told that I have a new life growing inside of me. Is it how it begins?
Several months passed and I still feel I am not my original self, tummy bulges; appetite becomes wild and one day a terrible pain sets in that makes me feel I was going to die. I screamed and shouted and groaned and did all sort. For hours the pain persisted and then minutes later I heard the cry of a baby. The life that began to grow forty weeks ago had finally become a complete human being coming out of this stomach of mine???? It’s simply incredible.
The children grow and become matured boys and girls and then one day my daughters come home with one his friends as usual. This time they relate so closely I got uncomfortable and then my daughter opened that same small mouth she used to cry when I brought her to this planet to tell me, Mummy, this is the man I want to marry!! She seems so excited about it but it was so painful to me. Does it mean this girl doesn’t enjoy my company any longer or don’t I care enough? All questions, no answers and then the great day came. We gave our daughter out in marriage and every other woman glared at me in envy. Some couldn’t hide it. ‘Aren’t you a lucky mother?’ they asked.
That evening I flashed back at my life from the beginning at least from when I could remember and I found out it has always taught me a lesson: In the life of every woman there is no gain without a pain. Just as it happens in our natural milestones, our experiences generally teach this same lesson.
We should learn not to shy from challenges rather face them. We should learn to take the bull by the horns, take hold of every opportunity and make the best of it. We should bear in mind at all times that at the end of every tunnel in our lives; there is a bright ray of light.
One more thing to be remembered, gold in its raw state is unattractive but after each round of treatment in the fire (not in an air conditioner) it shines better and better and better……
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO SHINE AGAINST ALL ODDS!!!!!!